♥
me: just because its starting to get warm out doesn’t mean you have to day drink
also me, at 2:38 PM on a Tuesday:
the signs as jersey shore quotes
aries: “the day i knew i loved you was the day you got punched in the face”
taurus: “i’m not the sharpest crayon in the box but hey, it’s not rocket scientist?”
gemini: “you have issues and i wish you would have told me this before i fell in love with you”
cancer: “you dont come in on a sunday with a big banana and then expect everything to be peaches”
leo: “id send her a picture of my dick with a pack of gum and say “chew on this”
virgo: “i actually really like her. I mean sure she’s dirty and grimy and disgusting but she’s just? a nice person??”
libra: “he has a girlfriend? really? well he kissed my pussy last night so”
scorpio: “a leopard never sheds its stripes”
sagittarius: “have sex with an old man, steal a plant, get arrested. then do whatever, i guess.”
capricorn: “is there a moon in this country?”
aquarius: “…Pidgeon bitch #gayrights”
pisces: “please stop abusing our duck phone”
♥
♥